There comes a time in life when we make a choice that will define us. Our first reaction to this choice is not necessarily our true choice. As powerful as mortals and immortals are like, we can be struck witless and spineless by our emotions. I found myself in a whirlwind of emotions that caused my tongue to speak false words laced with ignorance. Sere has always accepted me for who I am, in fact she embraces and desires the face beneath the mask I parade around in. That is what love truly is but my inexperience and romantic notion of well..romance made me think other wise. In the songs I sing and the songs I have heard in my travels, love always seemed like this grandiose and dramatic thing that trumped everything, logic included.
Our adventures lead us to an all knowing prophet who of course spoke in riddles. A deck of cards was presented to us and it delivered mostly misfortune to Gaz and great fortune to Sere. I was literally rendered stupid by a card that I pulled and my memories felt like mist in my head rather than solid memories. We were given a chance to dismiss the effects of the cards and I looked to Sere. Given my foolish notion of love I expected her to cast aside the treasures she had received and tell the prophet to restore my good health. But that was not the case and I was left with the bitter taste in my mouth. I am ashamed to admit how I felt next when we fought against Carlita. Sere is as powerful as she is beautiful and she consumed our enemies in a fire that burnt their flesh and reunited them with the earth. I felt a strange stab of jealous as she was able to do so much and I did so little. Those feelings combined with my disappointment from earlier caused me to push her away from me. Unfortunately I didn’t stop to think about Sere’s emotions which can be as wild and uncontrolled as a inferno. She told me that we were done and rid herself of her clothes before walking away naked.
Luckily this is not where the story ends. Instead the story only becomes more interesting and I make the choice that defines if I am truly a being of good or evil. Sere went into her dimensional room for what appeared to be a week but something happened that caused her to be thrown into a strange time continuum and two years passed. In that time she also gave birth—to our child. Given my blood instead of being a year old, he is several years old and depending on what he is feeling, he changes ages. Sere was reluctant to tell me that he was my child because the two of us spoke of children before and I said I did not wish to have children. It is not because I did not want a child but rather because I did not want to curse them with a fiendish appearance that would lead to many struggles and difficulties in life. After spending just a little bit of time with him, there was no way I could keep the truth a secret from Zel. I wanted him to know that he was a father and I wanted to be the one to guide him and help him deal with his fiendish nature.
Things were starting to look up and I even found myself more competent in battle. Carlita attacked us once again but this time we were going to finish her once and for all. A battle broke out in a small fishing town where most of the inhabitant were diseased and Carlita was controlling them. Gaz and I held most of the creatures off while Sere helped the crew of our ship get it sea ready. Then she joined the battle and was able to weaken Carlita. Gaz used his magic to knock her out of the air and onto the ground with us.
Then something very strange happened. One second I was looking at Carlita and the next I was looking at myself. Just my mind was grasping this I had a visit from death. Death did not come kindly knocking on my door but rather it charged me like a rallied cavalry. For a moment there was an excruciating pain that rushed through me. Every part of my body began to crumble and turn to ash. I can still the wicked flash of green when I close my eyes. It consumed me and broke me. Death was a sweet release from the pain that wracked through my body. When I could see again I was no longer a living, breathing being—I was not a spirit.
The soulbond I share with Sere kept me anchored to this world. Carlita was still in my body and she joined everyone on the ship and set sail for our next destination. I tried everything to get the attention of my friends but nothing worked. I spent the next two weeks contemplating my life and what I would do if I was given a chance to live again. When I started acting cold towards Sere, I ran into the succubus who was my mentor. I realized that even though physically we shared many of the same traits, we were two different creatures entirely. Lust and greed radiated from her and filled the air with a musky stench. There was no light in her amber eyes, no hidden depths, and definitely no soul. There was only a darkness that sucked in those who looked too closely. I was repulsed by her and yet at the same time I wanted to reach out to her and offer her what was given to me; redemption. The world she lives in is a black and white world; it’s dull and simple. When I was an incubus my emotions never ran deep. The only deep thoughts I had involved how to bed a woman or how to delightful it would be to pluck the feathers off of an angel’s wings and listen to her whimper as I defiled her. Everything was physical to me and I only wanted to satisfy myself.
The time Sere and I fell into each others arms was different. When we kissed I felt connected to the world and when she spoke my name I felt an emotion stir so deeply within me that I certain it reached my soul. For days after wards, the memories burned brightly in my mind. All it took was a small reminder and I lost my senses and the only thing I was aware of was the memory and the terrible ache inside of me to hold her close and relive those memories.
And then there was my thoughts of Zel. I have done so many things in my life that I am not proud of. I have done things that if I had had a soul before, it would drenched in darkness and shriveled. But Zel..when I feel Zel I feel nothing but pride. It got me to thinking; I am a part of that wonderful and sweet child. Zel has my blood inside of him. In fact, when he changes form he looks like what I would have looked like as a child. I thought that surely I cannot be that much of a monster if I am resemble for a blessing like Zel.
I wasn’t the only one who saw Zel’s potential. Carlita saw it as well and she started to poison him with her corrupt magics. It didn’t take too long for Gaz and Sere to start to pick up that something was off with ‘me’. While they were confronting me, I focused on the magic that was being seeped into Zel and when I realized it was corrupting magic; I was filled with an undiminishable rage. Through sheer will power I was able to take over Sere’s familiar and speak to her. However, by the time I alerted them to what was going on it was too late. Carlita used a geas on Zel and he took off.
I realized that I would not be able to find Zel in time to save him. Gaz was able to keep up with him but I wasn’t sure if he would be able to stop Zel from whatever nefarious mission Carlita had sent him on. I also realized that Carlita knew where she sent him and that the spell had been cast through my body. If I could have Carlita’s soul in me but I was in control of my body, I might be able to use my telepathy to paint a detailed image in Sere’s mind and she could teleport us there. There was also a chance I could dispel the spell. I told Sere of my plan and I told her that if I lost the battle when she needed to kill me right away. It was in that moment that I made the choice that defines me. Death had visited me once and it had been a miserable experience; if death visited me again I was certain that Death would take me into it’s clutches and drag me off to whatever judgment awaits me. But thinking of my son and how he was being used for a pawn and could be killed..death seemed insignificant. When I spoke there was no fear in my eyes and words and I think that scared Sere a little. Because she knew she would not be able to talk me out of the decision I had made.
I told her that we needed to come up with a secret word of phrase that would let her know that I was the one in control of myself. The two of us looked at each other and that ache from before returned in full force. It was possible that this was the last time the two of us would see each other and I did not want to die with regret in my heart. I spoke in an elvish tongue and said “Lets try..I love you.” At first she looked confused and then it dawned on her what I meant and the smile on her face said it all to me. There wasn’t enough time for us to say anything else and express the emotions that were like a torrent inside the both of us or at least I imagine she was feeling the same torrent of emotion I was feeling. I released Carlita’s soul from the crystal it was inside of and a mental battle took place.
I needed more than one victory to succeed in my plan. The first victory allowed us to find Zel’s location and Sere teleported us there. When we arrived Zel was engaged in a bloody battle with Gaz at a desecrated temple. Sere tried to snap Zel out of his trance and I mentally engaged Carlita in battle once again. My mind was pushed to exhaustion and the strain made it feel like someone had wedged an axe into my brain. No matter how tired I was, I refused to lose. My son was depending on me and I was not going to let him down. Some where deep inside of me there was still strength left and I drew upon that strength to bring life back to my body. I overwhelmed Carlita and I was in control once again. The victory couldn’t have come at a better time because Zel’s blood was dripping down from the air towards a pool down below. Some of his blood reached it and the walls began to radiate an evil that was so powerful my head was left spinning. As sick as I felt, my years of training in the arcane did not disappointment and I was able to dispel the geas on Zel. His body started to fall and I caught him and cradled him in my arms.
I am not entirely sure what happened next, I was too consumed in my efforts to comfort my son to pay attention to anything else. Sere and Gaz were some how able to stop the temple from becoming even more desecrated. They were not able to stop an ancient evil from awakening but by now Sere and Gaz are quite powerful and they handled the mummy on their own. They investigated the coffin the creature came from and a box was there. Gaz drew on his knowledge from his time in the celestial planes and discovered that the box contained an evil so malicious and powerful that if it was practically a seed of evil and if it was unleashed the world would be destroyed. A strange feline like drow appeared at this moment and after a quick scuffle with us (he thought we were evil but we proved other wise),he helped us contain the evil. I used my lute of creation to wrap the box up in the material it was kept in and we made sure it was well hidden.
That night I fell asleep next to my family with my son in my arms and my love by my side. In the morning Sere and I spent the afternoon together and after some casual conversation, she asked me why I gave her another chance. My as a wandering soul made me realize that was important to me and I told her that Zel and her are the most important things in my life. I have spoken many words of magic and wielded them to do amazing things but when she told me that she loved me, when I said “I love you” I felt like those words possessed more magic than every song I have ever sang and every spell I have ever crafted.
Now I have a love, a son, and I helped save the world. Not too bad for an Incubus, eh?