I am a fool – a naïve, trusting, utter simpleton. The journey to this world so far has been nothing short of a rousing adventure. I have a “protector” by the name of Gaz’adrias, who seems to think I’m someone who needs to be looked after. He claims to be an angel, and though I’m not sure if he actually is or not, his green hair and glowing skin lend strength to his claim. He found me in the desert and has been following me ever since, though my blood boils to have someone watching my every step and expecting me to be of some sort of importance to the balance of the world when I know I am not. I was traveling through the desert when he found me and he has been tagging along ever since. This is also where we discovered a portal underneath a Hawthorne bush. Strange, to say the least. I was intrigued at the secretive nature of the passage and at the magics that were at work in the portal. Unable to figure out exactly where it led, I decided to let my instincts and love of adventure guide me and jumped in headfirst to try and ascertain exactly where the magic led to and what it was doing there. The thrill of danger and near death, while frightful and something to be avoided to most, is a powerful addiction for me. I got a lot more than I bargained for, though. The land we came to is not on any of the maps that I have ever seen. I wonder if we have made it to another world entirely.
When we arrived in the new area, for Gaz’adrias had apparently jumped in the portal after me, it was more strange than I had anticipated. The government officials here are infuriating! We managed to find our way to a small town, starving and bedraggled due to the government “tax collectors” outright stealing the money they needed to survive, in the form of “taxes waged”. Hah! I’d like to show a few of them exactly where they can go – there is a lovely layer of the Abyss that would do just perfectly. But enough of that. The short of it is, we wandered through a few areas trying to get our bearings and figure out where in the world we were. It was exciting – between impersonating some knights and managing to escape an attempt at being poisoned, I was having the time of my life. Except for this annoying knight who keeps following us around.
Anyway. We made it to one of the major cities, by the name of Draktinin. We managed to sneak a free night at the inn by pretending to be Knights of Old. The only drawback was that we had to give a musical performance at the inn. Good thing old Gaz has a flare for the dramatic. He had the audience dangling at his fingers. I think I might be beginning to admire his determination a bit. We spent the night there, only to be given a mission the next day to investigate why a number of Knights of Old were disappearing in the city. Feh! I didn’t really see the need but Gaz seemed to think it was a good idea. I went along with it – maybe there would be a reward. I could use some of the local currency – everyone here freaks out when I pull out a simple piece of gold. What we didn’t bargain for was a very valiant attempt on our lives, following which we escaped into some odd dungeon, whereupon we managed to release some ages-old evil wizard bent on world domination…or maybe destruction. Just goes to show you can’t trust a pretty face and a plea for help. Last time I ever do something for anyone out of the goodness of my heart. The she-witch tricked us into releasing her by claiming that she had gotten trapped “accidentally”. When she was free she transformed into the wizard and flew away, laughing maniacally! I was okay with what had happened up to this point – I wasn’t planning on sticking around to mess with this wizard anyway. It wasn’t my fault he got released! We’ll find the most convenient way home and go back. Gaz’adrias’s saying that I’m meant to “save the world” is a load of crap anyway. Hah!
But oh – it gets worse. This time the victim wasn’t just some random people I didn’t know in a world I didn’t care for – this time the person getting hurt was me. I have neglected mentioning it up to this point, but during the course of trying to figure out what in the Nine Layers of the Abyss was going on with the Knights of Old, we bumped into a very old, very creepy-sounding man by the name of Claude. Suffice it to say that he is most definitely not what he seems. He turns out to be some sort of demon, which I find rather funny. I expected Gaz to put up some sort of horrific fight or at least some heated exchange. But no; he didn’t care. Sigh. I expected a demon, of all things, to be…well…demonic. But this demon was good! Heh! Can you believe it? He kept getting upset at the most bizarre things. Like taking out one of those bastard tax collectors and throwing him down a pit. Or not wanting to go “protect the town”. Whatever – at least he was decent in a fight and had managed to save my life a few times. I began to appreciate his determination, not to mention his gorgeous looks. Then SHE happened. The she-witch, Carlita somehow spliced our souls together. We can’t be separated by more than forty feet or so; no matter how hard either of us tries. I was so upset at first! I HATE being constrained – being caged. And this damn do-gooder demon would only be upset at my actions; I would have to live with his criticisms. I seriously contemplated pulling out a dagger and putting one of us out of our misery – preferably him – but I’m no match to him in close combat.
The next day we began to argue over being tied together. After a number of choice words I discovered that I sort of understood his point of view. In fact, though it didn’t work for me, I could see some of why he did what he did. My kind in general, and me more than most, tend to feel our emotions in extremes. All love or hate and nothing in between. I’ll admit that this handsome looks and the though of being with someone so intrinsically dangerous roused my interest. When the feeling seemed to be reciprocated, feelings became heated and suffice it to say that the burning house where we were bonded will never be quite the same again. In the moment, all I wanted was him – was to be together for an eternity. I felt connected, whether through the spell or something else, more connected than I had ever felt with anyone.
But I told him I loved him. That is where it all began to go downhill. I knew I shouldn’t have said it – didn’t say it very loudly. Hadn’t even meant to say the feelings in my deepest heart as of yet. But I did say it. The panic-stricken look in his amber-hued eyes and his silence were all the answer I needed. He didn’t love me, regardless of what my feelings were. He had shared what an incubus actually was and I was a fool to think that his actions were anything more than an outpouring of his basic being – was a fool to hold the fragile hope of something returning such an intrinsically weak sentiment as love. Especially an incubus! Hah! I was naïve, trusting fool to have let myself be so overswept by the emotions of the moment that I shared what I have never shared with anyone. He had slept with thousands – had told me so himself. What made me think I was any different. While I might have said the words a little early, his denial of them still hurt; I felt my insides turn to ice and my heart shatter; broken. I vowed there and then to never let another in as close to me – to become as vulnerable as I had just become; to slip behind the mask of bravado and nonchalance that I always kept up. He had had his chance and he had not taken it. No one else would have the opportunity. He was the same as all of the others I had met. It was useless to try and reach out and connect with someone; to stick your neck out and try and help someone else – all it did was leave you open for attack, leave you vulnerable. Love – hah! Who needed love anyway. That book was resoundingly slammed shut; no question in my mind as to what Claude truly felt. But my life was still my own. I would find the secrets of magic; attain the power I sought. The others don’t matter. The bond that ties us will soon be broken and then I will be free once more to do what I wish. Power is all that matters and when the world recognizes the power and the authority that I would make my own I would have all that I could ever want. I would be happy. I would, at the least, be in control. I’m actually happy that this experience with Claude happened when it did. I will know what never to do again.